


I’m Gonna Love You

by Rose711



Series: Malex Week 2020 [6]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Memories of the Lost Decade, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:56:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25362742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose711/pseuds/Rose711
Summary: Alex reluctantly attends open mic night where Michael performs their song.Written for Day 6 of Malex Week 2020: Song Inspiration
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Malex Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828954
Comments: 2
Kudos: 80
Collections: Roswell New Mexico ▶ Michael Guerin / Alex Manes





	I’m Gonna Love You

**Author's Note:**

> The italics are the lyrics Michael is singing. The song is "Like I’m Gonna Lose You" by Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend.
> 
> I know this is not a song malex would listen to, but I actually wrote very similar for another fandom and the lyrics are so malex that I tried to make it fit lmao. So it's odd, I know, but I think I got it to work so just go with it haha. I also could not figure out how to do a more traditional songfic, so this is very overt...

“Why did I agree to come?” Alex mumbled to himself as he looked down at the table, nearly resting his head on it.

“Because you needed to come,” Liz said from her seat next to him in the booth. Alex groaned as Liz rested a hand on his shoulder and Maria reached across the table to lightly touch his arm.

It had been a rough couple of weeks for Alex. Flint got out of rehab, Alex and Greg there to greet him, hopeful that their brother could be redeemed; but he immediately said he had to get back to the mission, whatever that meant. Then he and Forrest ended things. Although it was amicable, it still hurt, and Alex couldn’t help but feel that he was destined to live life without love. And of course there were the general work frustrations. He was just tired. Liz being in town for the weekend to see her dad and Rosa was making things better, however.

Alex ran into Michael a couple weeks ago and Michael casually mentioned that he was going to be playing at the next open mic night at the Wild Pony and invited him to attend, “ya know, only if you want.” Alex could tell Michael had been nervous, both at the thought of performing publicly for the first time and at asking Alex to go, but Michael also looked proud, and Alex felt the same. Alex knew he would be there from that moment. But that was before he suffered another failed relationship. He hadn’t been to an open mic night since his performance and while he was proud of himself and his song, it held too many memories. Michael walking out. Him kissing the man he was no longer with. The memories, as well as the realization that what could be would not be, made Alex feel as if his heart was broken yet again. So he decided he wasn’t going to see Michael perform.

But Liz convinced him to go out with her the one night she had free while she was home so they could hang out with Maria while she worked. “Sometimes being there for your friends is the most important thing,” Liz reminded him. He could only smile and agree.

Alex lifted his head and looked around the bar. It was crowded, and the Pony patrons were captivated by the various performances, which Alex had to admit were not terrible. He was ashamed to admit, however, that between every performance, hell, during most performances, he watched Michael animatedly talk with Isobel and Max at a table at the corner of the stage near the door, he watched Michael scoff at various performances while getting captivated by others and he watched Michael fidget with the full pint of beer in front of him, clearly nervous. And although he was hurt and sad, Alex often found himself with a small smile spread across his lips while his eyes were locked on the cowboy.

Alex sighed as he brought his elbows onto the table and rested his head in his hands. He was exhausted.

“He lost a bet.” Alex looked up at Isobel’s voice, hoping his look was enough for her to get the hint and leave. He was not in the mood for her games tonight. But all she did was roll her eyes and smirk. He knew he would have to play along in order to get her to leave.

“Who lost what bet, Isobel?”

“Michael. His song. He lost a bet with me so he has to sing something embarrassing, something like a teeny-bopper pop hit. He should have known better than to bet his first performance, but apparently sometimes his genius takes a break.” Alex just nodded, feigning interest outwardly, but internally he was amused and his heart fluttered at the thought of Michael singing some cotton candy song.

“He’s next!” Isobel announced as Maria went to the stage to thank the previous performer and introduce Michael. “This is going to be good, you’ll love it!” She practically danced back to her table, where Max was looking longingly at Liz. Alex watched as Michael climbed the stage, grabbed a guitar off the stand and sat down looking around nervously. His eyes caught Alex’s and he smiled. At that moment Alex once again remembered his performance and the anxiety he felt just minutes ago returned with greater force. For what felt like the fiftieth time that night, he sighed and brought his head into his hands.

_I found myself dreaming  
In silver and gold  
Like a scene from a movie  
That every broken heart knows  
We were walking on moonlight  
And you pulled me close  
Split second and you disappeared  
And then I was all alone_

Alex froze; his breath caught in his throat.

_I woke up in tears  
With you by my side  
A breath of relief  
And I realized  
No, we're not promised tomorrow_

He snapped his head up. His hands fell to the edge of the table as he gripped it tightly.

“Are you okay?” Liz asked as Michael continued to sing and Alex continued to stare at the stage.

“Yeah.” His voice betrayed him, cracking with emotion on the one syllable.

_So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
And I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye  
Wherever we're standing  
I won't take you for granted  
'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time  
So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

Alex felt tears coming to his eyes. He blinked rapidly and thought back to the first time he heard this song.

It was after his second deployment, he had been back in Roswell for only a few days but it was already the third night he and Michael had spent in the bed of Michael’s truck under the desert sky. They had the truck radio blaring as they laid entangled in one another, stealing kisses between staring at the stars. The radio DJ announced that he had a new song by Meghan Trainor to play and both men jeered as Alex told Michael to change the station. But Michael wasn’t about to unwrap himself from Alex so the song played. As they reluctantly listened to the lyrics they locked eyes and then locked lips in their most passionate kiss that night. The minutes and eventually hours passed, and the song had played a couple more times - after all radio DJs like to overplay new music. As they crawled out of the bed of the truck to start to head back to town, the song came on once more and Michael grabbed Alex and spun him around so they were facing each other as close as two people could get. “This is what you mean to me” he had said. Michael serenaded him with the smooth soul sound of the song and Alex fell in love all over again.

The next time Michael sang it to him was when he was on leave before his third deployment. Alex knew in that moment, as he laid in Michael's bed with him singing in his ear, that that was where he was supposed to be, this was who he was supposed to be with. During that leave, Michael made a habit of singing it every time they were together, the lyrics a promise to Alex that not a moment would be wasted, that their love was one of a kind.

“I can't do this,” Alex said with tears in his voice. He started to get up but felt Liz’s hand on his arm.

“We can go,” Liz said reassuringly as he started to rise.

“No, you stay. I just...I'll be back.” Alex needed to be alone. Liz nodded his head and Alex got up. He looked at the door, which was literally right next to the stage, and prayed that Michael wouldn’t see him leaving.

_In the blink of an eye  
Just a whisper of smoke  
You could lose everything  
The truth is you never know_

Alex hurried toward the exit, trying not to listen to the song while trying to hold back the tears.

But before he could fully reach the place that would offer him solitude, he felt a hand on his arm.

“Don’t go,” Isobel whispered in his ear, pleading with him.

“No,” Alex urged quietly without turning his head as he tried to yank his arm from her grip. But Isobel just tugged on Alex's arm harder and he reluctantly spun around, immediately locking eyes with Michael.

_So I'll kiss you longer baby  
Any chance that I get  
I'll make the most of the minutes  
And love with no regrets_

Michael sang while looking deep into Alex's eyes, blurry from unshed tears. Isobel moved back to her seat, as Alex stood frozen, only a few feet from the stage and Michael. 

_Let's take our time to say what we want  
Here's what we got before it's all gone  
'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow_

Michael smiled and Alex inadvertently took a step forward, his feet only inches from the stage. He could feel all eyes on him and Michael but he couldn't look anywhere but into Michael's eyes. They pleaded with him, and Alex was immediately transported back to happier times.

Alex sighed in contentment - and confusion – as Michael softly continued to sing their song to him, the microphone barely picking up the sound.

_So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye  
Wherever we're standing  
I won't take you for granted  
'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time  
So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

Alex closed his eyes and just listened to the words, tears once again forming in his eyes. He felt hope - and dread. He knew this moment would end soon and he would once again be left alone.

_I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye  
Wherever we're standing  
I won't take you for granted  
'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time  
So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

As he sang the final word, Michael stood up and stepped off the stage right in front of Alex. Still holding his guitar he took Alex’s hand in his free one as loud applause surrounded them, though Alex heard none of it as Michael leaned in close.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. I always have been,” Michael whispered as Alex smiled broadly, the tears still threatening.

“I’m glad you came,” Michael added with a wink before walking back toward the stage, holding Alex’s hand until the last possible second.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> tumblr: theviewofmylife


End file.
